CHINESE  SICK LEAVE : 'I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!' 

Hung Chow calls into work and says,  'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick . Got headache,  stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.' 

The boss  John says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and  tell her to give me Sex. That Makes everything better and I  go to work. You try that.' 

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what You say and I feel Great.

I be at  work soon.........You got nice house."